Depression

I suppose I should be happy that spring time is finally upon us and warm weather and sunny days appear to be dawning. However, it this during this time of year that I feel the most depressed. Something about the smell in the air and the angle of the sun connects to unpleasant memories long suppressed. Of course, I could just be suffering taper blahs.

Now that I am tapering, I can’t even bury myself in long training sessions to work out the inner demons that plague me during my down moments. I should be very happy right now. My training went well, I feel confident, my wife is showing support for my efforts and my children love their daddy very much. I have no reason to be depressed, but depression is unreasonable.

Fortunately, the weather looks awful for tomorrow and nothing brightens my spirits more than a cold miserable day. That is beast-like weather. Beasts like harsh conditions. Flowers blooming on an open meadow during the springtime thaw are nauseating. I like extremes. Give me the harshness of winter or the brutal heat and glaring sun of summer. I love to suffer and I want the proper conditions to maximize my pleasure.

I’ve been reading some of the discussion threads about the swim for IMAZ. It sounds dreadful, which makes it wonderful for me. Murky cold water, low visibility, and a crowded field. I love it. Bring it on, I can’t wait. I have no fear of drowning so rough swimming conditions will not intimidate me.