Race Night

I am waiting for my Ambien to kick in while Todd and Robert finish getting ready for bed. All of our gear is packed and race number stickers have been applied. All that’s left to do is wake up and go to the race.

Today consisted of getting our bikes inspected, picking up our race numbers, checking in the bikes and then going for a swim. It looks like the swim tomorrow will be rough, based on the choppiness today. The check-in/Expo consisted of the usual stuff. None of us bought anything as we already came fully prepared.

Todd right now is talking on the phone with his wife expressing how he is having moment of nervousness because he knows there will be moments of intense pain. I am looking forward to those moments. Physical pain is much more real and lets me know I am alive. I find it infinitely preferable to mental pain, which I experienced a bit earlier.

When I spoke to my son he started to sound sad and asked when I was coming home. I knew if I was there, I would be playing stoop ball with him outside. I know my wife is preoccupied helping my daughter with an overdo school project and that Luke is sitting around bored and wishing he has someone to play with. It makes me feel selfish to pursue my own activities. I told him I bought him a toy he would like and he seemed to sound happier after. I guess I am bribing my own guilt away, but it is the only method I know of to assuage it.