Fear of Flying

Note: Written while waiting for plane to take off...

I am suddenly overcome with a fear of flying. I am not afraid of dying in a crash; it’s the effect the loss of their father on my children that give me the chills. I suppose flying in an airplane is a lot safer than bombing down a hill on my bike going 50 mph, with nothing but a few inches separating me from the road, but at least I am in control while on my bike. I never understood this fear of flying until now. I guess I have something that I don’t want to lose. Oh yeah, I am at the airport waiting to board a plane to Califonia.

My depressed state on leaving my children was clearly visible on my face as I got ready. Perhaps my son sensed this, because he came up behind me unexpectedly while I was leaning over to pack a bag and gave me such a warm and big hug from behind. I was in shock at first because I thought it was my wife. I told her how I was feeling earlier and I thought she had come over to offer me some comfort.

At least before I left on my trip today I got to spend some time with my kids. They were having the Kenny Dolan Memorial Run in Prospect Park which always includes Pee Wee races. I had just returned from my run (11 miles out of 18 - I was pooped) and asked if my children if they wanted to do it. My son was an emphatic yes and my daughter said she would like to race as well. I think they are getting into the competitive spirit. Both of them were eager to race and ran the hardest I’ve ever seen. My son liked it so much this time that he wanted to go back and race again.

Hopefully I can keep myself occupied when I get to the left coast. I’ll be spending a couple of days in La Jolla and I am looking forward to trying to get a swim at the beach.