My First DNF

As I stated in my previous post, I did not finish this year’s Ironman Lake Placid. This was the first time I’ve experienced the inability to go on in a race. I am not liking the feeling one little bit, but alas, there is nothing I can do about it. I know I made the right decision to drop out of the race, however, I do not have to like that decision.

Race day started off as perfect as can be. It was clear and warm and I was feeling great. I had a good amount of sleep the night before and I had a good breakfast soon after I woke up. Even my bowels were cooperating as I took a nice poop well before I needed to leave the Bed and Breakfast place I was staying (The Winterberry Inn for those who are interested; it was fabulous). My friend Larry had his wife drive us to the start and I arrived to the transition area feeling good. I ran into several friends that were doing the race while waiting for the start and I was having a good time even before the race started.
I waited as long as possible to enter the water. I wanted to save as much energy as possible before the race. When I got in, I lined up about 20 yards off the starting line. I knew I wasn’t going to be a fast swimmer this year and I had no desire to have the shit kicked out of me by faster swimmers trying to get in front of me. I got jostled around some, kick in the face once or twice and had my head shoved under water when I came up to breathe, but other than that I swam in mostly clear water. When I came out of the water after the first loop, I saw 39 minutes on my watch. When I came out from the second loop, I saw 1:14, which meant that I negative split the swim.

I got on my bike feeling good. I didn’t push to hard, at least I didn’t think so and rode around 80 percent of my max HR. The course was the same as it always is; long lines of riders struggling up the hills and people flying down the downhills, with the usual people riding too far to the left making it difficult and dangerous to pass. I reached special needs is just under 3 hours and I was very happy with that time. The climb back out of Lake Placid started out ok. My friend Walter had caught be by then. He complained as usual about his swim. I told him to forget about it, he was doing great and he should go on and kick my ass in the bike. Little did I know at that point that my day would soon be coming to an end.

I took it easy on the downhill to Keane. I was beginning to feel tired and I didn’t want to take any chances storming down the hill. The race wasn’t worth dying over. At one point a strong gust of wind came and almost knocked me off the bike. Another rider came up behind me and said “That was something”. I think we both had the crap scared out of us. It was a good thing I wasn’t aero at the time.

I really started to slow down once I began to head towards Jay. I was pushing into a headwind and my HR was beginning to drop. I was doing ok though and hoped that I could continue on. It wasn’t until I made the left turn onto the climb that leads to Haselton Road that I knew I was done. The climb became so difficult that I was barely making any forward progress. I felt very cold and my HR dropped significantly. My skin was completely dry. The tiredness I felt was deep within my body. I didn’t think I could make it up the hill, much less go on to do the climb back up to Lake Placid and then do a marathon.

Many people started to pass me. It felt like I was being left behind by everyone and that I would be the last one out on the road. When I finally made it to Haselton, I cut across the road to head into the aid station. I almost cut my friend Todd off in the process. I stopped ostensibly to have suntan lotion put on the back of my neck. I had it applied to my neck by a very caring volunteer who took his time to rub it in. The volunteer must have thought I didn’t look so good, because he asked me if I wanted something to drink or eat. At that point I got off my bike to use the portosan. I was no longer worrying about my bike time, I was just thinking of survival. Normally I would just pee while on the bike. After I got out, I decided to take a break and sat down on the floor and rested my back on the portosan I just exited. Someone asked me if I wanted to get out of the sun, to which I replied no, that I was feeling very cold. A blanket was offered to me.

I was watching many riders turning onto Haselton road and hoped to see my friend Larry. I was hoping to see someone I knew for encouragement. While I was sitting down a couple of EMT guys walked over to me. They asked if I felt ok and I told them I was just feeling cold and a little tired. They offered to check my vital signs out in the ambulance. I figured I had nothing to lose and walked over to it with them. I was checked out ok, but I was still feeling cold and not ready to move on. Eventually, I went outside the ambulance to sit in the sun and watch the other riders go by. I let myself bake in the sun, but I still wasn’t warming up or sweating. An EMT guy sat down next to me to make sure I was ok. We talked about how I still had plenty of time and that there were many people still behind me. I told him that even though there were, while you are out there alone, with people passing you, it feels as though you are going to be the last one.

I went back and forth with the EMT guys about whether or not I was calling it a day. I just couldn’t pull the trigger and say I was done. The EMT guys were very good about it. They were not going to force me off the course if I wanted to go on, but I could tell they thought I should stop. I would have liked to have rested in the aid station a little while longer, but my decision to quit was eventually forced by the fact that the ambulance was about to leave for town to with another rider who succumbed to the day. I didn’t want to have to hang around another hour or so if I eventually came to the realization that my day was done. I finally just said to hell with it and jumped into the ambulance for the ride back.

I had no sooner gotten into the ambulance when my body suddenly started to sweat again. This was what I was waiting for, since I figured if I could sweat, I was at least hydrated enough to have gone on. A sick feeling invaded my stomach as I realized that I really did just quit this race and I was headed back to town in an ambulance. I wanted to tell the ambulance driver to turn around that I was ready to go on now. Perhaps I was sweating because of the nervousness that I was feeling about quitting. I knew I would now always be left wondering if I could have finished the race had I just waited it out a little longer. Quitting was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made in my life and I was feeling sick over it.

On the ride back the EMT guys told me that I made the right decision. I began to agree with them as I watched everyone struggle up Whiteface on the way to LP. It would have been very ugly for me if I decided to go on. The immediate remorse at quitting settled down a bit and I relaxed for the rest of the way into town.

Once back in town, I was brought to the medical tent to be check out. By then I was developing a splitting migraine headache and was happy to be resting on a cot. The doctor watching over me didn’t want to let me go unless someone came to pick me up. Fortunately, I had the cell phone number of Larry’s wife Kathleen who was amenable to come and get me.

That is pretty much it. I went back to the place I was staying, showered, ate and rested. I tried hard not to be depressed and decided to go back outside to cheer on my friends who were still doing the race. I spoke to my coach on the phone who agreed that I made the right decision about stopping.

Quitting this race hurts, but I have to move beyond it. Perhaps I raced it wrong, perhaps I was undertrained or maybe I had some underlying medical condition at the time that caused me to poop out. It doesn’t matter. It is over and I have to look towards future races. Will I sign up for Lake Placid again? Most likely. I never thought I would be doing Ironman last year, much less this year, but it has become a lifestyle. It’s something that I do. My son says I should do it because if I keep on doing it eventually I will win. I guess based on the way my year has gone so far, I am a winner just for trying.