Morning Star

I was greeted this morning with a crystalline clear sky. The sun was just below the horizon and I could make out a crescent shape of a nearby planet. I’ve never seen a planetary star appear so close and clear. My guess was Venus. I checked the daily almanac when I sat down to breakfast, which confirmed that my guess was correct.

I returned home in time to wake my daughter up and I told her what I saw this morning. She became immediately interested and pulled out her children’s encyclopedia to look up the solar system. We looked over her book and discussed the solar system over breakfast.

I wish I could say that my mind was as clear as the sky. It was really beautiful outside and the star was magnificent. I even pointed it out to a slow moving group of runners. One of them thanked me for doing so.

My mind however was swirling with negative thoughts, causing me to have a nervous filled stomach and an anxiety filled mind. I was completely disassociating from my run. I think disassociation while working out is a useful tool that let’s our minds relax a bit while our bodies are busy doing the work. I think its disassociation combined with the endorphin release that causes the feeling called runners high. However, in my case my runners high felt more like a bad LSD trip.

Several days ago I was discussing with my coach various things about my training and the subject of disassociation while running. I told him that generally speaking I rarely disassociate. He responded by saying that the best athletes in the world are always in touch with their body and rarely lose themselves to disassociation. I decided that this is what I needed to do this morning.

It took me about 3 miles to figure this out and by that time I was close to the point where I could turn in for home. I was almost defeated and started considering it when I made this realization. With a bit of annoyance at myself I continued on and tried to pick up my pace. I picked out a runner ahead of me and concentrated on catching her. Next I decided to try to up my pace. This worked for a while, but I started to get tired.

I was running a 3 mile loop and during the first go around, I decided to avoid an ice and snow covered path that I like to do since it gives me some extra hill climbing. I didn’t want to take a chance on slipping or twisting an ankle. On the second loop I decided to just go for it. There is nothing like have to concentrate on your footfalls on uneven terrain to keep you from disassociating. I figured maintaining mental health was more important at this point that worrying about a twisted ankle. I ran it without incident and then made it home a short time later.