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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

What’s my motivation?

This morning I staggered around like a punch drunk boxer taking a standing 8 count as I contemplated heading to the pool. My Polar alarm went off at 4:30am and I awoke to a staggering heading. I got up, took two Excedrin, and then hid back under my covers.

The caffeine immediately coursed through my bloodstream however, and at around 4:40am I started to feel awake. I didn’t feel any better, but at least I was awake. To further supplement the Excedrin, I popped a Gurana capsule to boot.

I so didn’t want to go to the pool. The last thing in the world I wanted to feel was the cold water enveloping my warm dry body after I leaped from the edge of the pool deck.

With these negative thoughts swirling around my mind it was time for some introspection and to search for my motivation.

My first thought was I need to go swimming in order to prepare myself for Ironman Lake Placid so I can qualify for Kona. This wasn’t working though. Doubts have started to creep in to my mind and I am thinking it won’t happen. I needed to think of something else.

I thought of how I would feel after I did the swim. Undoubtedly I would feel good and satisfied afterwards. Just like a reluctant wife who at first doesn’t want sex, but afterwards is glad she had it. That worked somewhat.

Next I reminded myself of some dreams I’ve been having lately. In the dreams, my upper body is becoming weak from lack of any upper body exercise, like swimming and I am no longer able to lift up certain objects; like my children. My children like to play a game called “Garbage”. It is where I pick them high up in the air and toss them onto my bed as I yell that I have to throw away all of this garbage. They keep rolling back down the garbage hill making me throw them away over and over again. In my dream I am too weak to toss them away. That was good motivation.

Lastly, I reminded myself about the times I’ve been on long training rides, where I grew tired and weary of riding around in circles; usually in Prospect Park, where I was doing 30 plus loops of the park. I would want to quit doing the ride so badly, but I didn’t because I knew it was just my mind playing tricks on me because my body needed something. I used what I was feeling this morning as analogous to those long rides and made myself get over it. While this wasn’t motivating, it was the final push to commit to the morning swim.

So I made it to the pool as described in my earlier posting. Yes, I feel good about it now, but I am sure come Friday morning, I will be dreading the trip once again. Maybe I will pray for a Transit strike - That'll keep me at home.


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