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Saturday, July 02, 2005

A Man to Man Question

The other day a friend of mine asked me over AOL Instant Messenger if he could ask me a personal question, man to man. I of course said yes and was quite curious to know what he wanted to ask. His question pertained to a dilemma that millions of married men throughout the world must have; namely, what do you do when your wife won’t give you sex anymore.

I was able to answer this question without missing a beat. Having been with the same woman (my wife) for over 20 years inevitably brings you to such eventuality. I responded to him that he has three choices; 1 – Cheat, 2 – Jerk off or 3 – Do long course triathlon like me.

Personally, I feel that choice 3 is the best, and in reality, the only option. The first choice is just plain wrong is fraught with a high likelihood of becoming very messy. Choice 2 is simply messy. Yes, choice 3 is the best option. Here are the advantages:

1 – You are too tired for sex so you don’t really care if you get any.
2 – The lack of sex causes you to focus and train harder, thereby giving you some great performances out in the field.
3 – The backup causes, shall we say your package to appear large in those tight triathlon shorts.

I am not sure if my response helped my friend with his man problem. I invite others to respond should they contain knowledge of a better solution.


Blogger Derek said...

I have no advice ... but will say this doesn't encourage me to get married...

9:22 PM  

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